Perched on the equator, my boy plays his music while the world spins. Or is it my head that spins?
Soon he will find himself in the tropics with the blazing sun and mosquitoes. . .and my breath goes out of me. My mother’s heart shrinks. Can I hold my breath for six long weeks?
I have urged him out into this ragged world of ours, and now, with the curtain up, he goes.
I spent yesterday gathering up items for a “care” package for my son Ben, who will soon be flying off from Vancouver to Guatamala for a six week study/work stay on a coffee plantation. Things like mosquito repellent to keep the Dengue fever away and pills to kill stomach parasites, and 85 SF suncreen to prevent the skin cancers, and the money belt to protect the valuables from thieves.
And well, I guess I didn’t realize the effect of all this “protection planning” on my nerves until the Tuesday Muses came in the evening, and this art piece gave it to me in full technicolor. Right on top of my collection of collage images were these very pieces!! The boy. . .looking for all the world like my son at that age- skinny, intent, with that big mop of hair. The monkey. I can’t believe that it wasn’t til today, and with a friend’s help, that I realized it was Hanuman, the monkey God of the Ramayana and loyal protector of Lord Rama! The globes with EQUATOR written on them, reminding me of how far away he’s going. And the stages where his life will now be enacted. A flood of feeling was released with these connections made. And now I feel that he and I are somehow quite safe, because the fear is out there now, on paper and not taking my breath away.